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- "Playing fetch with Heather Mills' dog was
   becoming slightly tedious for Dom."

- "Mrs L+P will not be happy when she sees
    L+P has left the plug in the bath again."


- "Christ, it's not just his politics that stink!"

- "The search goes on for Harry Kewell's form"

- "Shall we eat Hodges next? Teach the soft
    bastid to bring a hood?"

- "It wasn't the Keycamp site Mrs C remembered
   from the brochure."

- "Maryville University's New Housing Plan"

- "Mrs C was taking no chances as Mr C
    threatened to open his wallet."

- "George sits patiently awaiting his Ocado

- "Rentrez! Singes capitulards bouffeurs de

- "Government announce new tough border

- "Stuart's fishing stories were never the same
    after he lost his left arm


- "Yo, genie, you don't half look like that
    Osama bloke I've been looking for."

- "Ok, who put the super glue on the top
    of the bottle!"

- "Despite the smile, the worlds smallest
    woman regrets not choosing her usual
    order of a nugget and chip"

- "Becks smelt a rat. Sven had swapped his
  Superman pants for one of Nancy's old g-strings"

- "David realised he had forgotten to do a wee
   before the match"

- "When Mr C was after a dark room for his
    computer, he hadn't bargained on the fact that
    Mrs C was such a whizz with a knitting needle!"

- "Becks looked everywhere but Posh's brain was
   lost forever."

- "David doesn't yet realise the markings on a
    football pitch are just chalk!"

- "Mr C was quite upset when he saw how much
    a Swiss Army knife cost, so he made his own!"

- "Another example of Mr C'c thriftiness in the
    form of C-101's Swiss Army knife."

- "It wasn't the people carrier Mrs Cambo had in
   mind to replace the Powder Pink Mobile."

- "Ice cream sales at the world mud wrestling
   championship struggle to take off."

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