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- "Playing fetch with Heather Mills' dog was
becoming slightly tedious for Dom."
- "Mrs L+P will not be happy when she sees
L+P has left the plug in the bath again."
- "Christ, it's not just his politics that stink!"
- "The search goes on for Harry Kewell's form"
- "Shall we eat Hodges next? Teach the soft
bastid to bring a hood?"
- "It wasn't the Keycamp site Mrs C remembered
from the brochure."
- "Maryville University's New Housing Plan"
- "Mrs C was taking no chances as Mr C
threatened to open his wallet."
- "George
sits patiently awaiting his Ocado
delivery"
- "Rentrez! Singes capitulards bouffeurs de
fromage"
- "Government announce new tough border
controls"
- "Stuart's fishing stories were never the same
after he lost his left arm."
- "Yo, genie, you don't half look like that
Osama bloke I've been looking for."
- "Ok, who put the super glue on the top
of the bottle!"
- "Despite the smile, the worlds smallest
woman regrets not choosing her usual
order of a nugget and chip"
- "Becks smelt a rat. Sven had swapped his
Superman pants for one of Nancy's old g-strings"
- "David realised he had forgotten to do a wee
before the match"
- "When Mr C was after a dark room for his
computer, he hadn't bargained on the fact that
Mrs C was such a whizz with a knitting needle!"
- "Becks looked everywhere
but Posh's brain was
lost forever."
- "David doesn't yet realise the markings on a
football pitch are just chalk!"
- "Mr C was quite upset when he saw
how much
a Swiss Army knife cost, so he made his own!"
- "Another example of Mr C'c thriftiness in the
form of C-101's Swiss Army knife."
- "It wasn't the people carrier Mrs Cambo had in
mind to replace the Powder Pink Mobile."
- "Ice cream sales at the world mud wrestling
championship struggle to take off."
